There have been a lot of stories on blogs and in the media recently about bullying. Stories that make me sad for our children. Well, I’d like to share a story with you now about friendship and inclusion. A story that makes me hopeful for our children.

 

It begins with a beautiful girl named Eden. Eden was adopted from China. She is 3 years old. She laughs and jumps and loves her parents. In those ways, she is like most other 3 year olds. But Eden also has some developmental issues. Her speech is slurred and sometimes difficult to understand, and most of the time she wears a helmet and padding on her hands to prevent her from hitting herself. These are not issues easily hidden.

 

Now I could tell a story about how patient and dedicated Eden’s parents are. I could describe the joy in her mom’s face when they brought her to a parent/child class at our The Little Gym and Eden climbed up on the trap and let me launch her over the donut in a giant forward roll.

 

I could tell a story about Eden’s determination. I could describe her efforts and how they inspire me. I could tell about her contagious laugh. Or about the way she reminds me of Tigger when she bounces. I could describe the incredible feeling of watching Eden walk on the beam by herself for the first time.

 

But instead, I’d like to tell you a story about friendship and inclusion. A few weeks ago we decided to try and move Eden up to an age appropriate class from the parent/child class they had been attending. Her mom was nervous, but she agreed to try. The first few moments were kind of heartbreaking. I’m not going to lie. As I tried to take Eden away from her mom, she arched her whole body towards her and continually called, “mama, mama.” So we adjusted. Her mom and Eden and I sat by the wall and began to watch the class.

 

As we sat by the wall, without exception, every girl in the class (ages 3-5 and for some reason all girls) came over to Eden and invited her to join in the activity. Several girls came over repeatedly that first day. By the end of that first class I was able to walk Eden through some of the station. Despite Eden’s obvious differences, all the girls were sweet to her and tried to help her. They played hide and seek for the game, and Eden hid too. And laughed when the instructor found her.

 

The second week Eden stood on the red mat right next to her mom and I and participated a little in the opening. Again the girls in the class spoke to her, smiled at her, and tried to help her get involved. For the second activity, a classmate took Eden’s padded hand and led her around the mat. Another girl in the class said, “I love her, and I love her helmet.” At the stations, the girls were patient waiting for Eden if she took a little longer doing something. They encouraged her, modeled for her and celebrated with her.

 

By the third week, Eden’s mom was able to sit out in the lobby with the other parents. And watching Eden be part of the group was priceless. My favorite moment from that third week of class was when Eden started laughing uncontrollably while the instructor was giving the station demo. The other girls were mesmerized and laughing with her. Even the instructors just gave into the laughter and ended the demo.

 

I’m smiling now as I think about it. I am certain being part of the Funny Bugs class is good for Eden. I know it will help build her motor skills and her confidence. It really is serious fun for her. But I am also certain that having Eden in the class is good for every other student in there.

 

Learning at a young age to include and accept others despite differences is an important life lesson. And I have no idea what causes children to become bullies. But I can’t help but think that finding opportunities for young children to laugh and bond through a game of hide and seek with children that might be different from them is a step in the right direction to prevent them from becoming a bully. We should all be so lucky at 3 years old to find a friend that we can help. To experience at a young age the joy of taking a friend by a padded hand to help ease her fear. What a blessing.